You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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