its not stalking. its research.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
