Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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