First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
