i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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