You work out of a Hotel?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
