were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
