So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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