I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
