Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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