so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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