She announced her abortion via fbk
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
