Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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