i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
