i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
