Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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