there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
