I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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