Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
