it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
