cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
