Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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