My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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