So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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