That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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