Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
