That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize