she was so not down for the gang bang
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
