Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
