Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize