dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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