I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you made out with another girl for some wings
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
