so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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