member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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