can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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