i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
