I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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