And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Alive.
So much puke
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
