if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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