Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
