i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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