Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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