shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize