hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
