summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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