I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
