then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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