Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
