the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just high enough for therapy.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
