I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
why do cheetos always look like penises
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize