it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
