So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's shark week go big or go home
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
