Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
