I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
