I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i believe in u and ur pee
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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