i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
