I smell stomach acid.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
