The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
All I want is dick and wine.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
