I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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