FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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