I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
