so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
