Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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