u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
pray to the hookup gods
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