ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My ass is underappreciated
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
