he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
