I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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